趣味 仕樣所: 外面下雨了

最近柔軟度不怎樣管用了，

回家的身軀一天比一天僵硬，

不曉得跟晨間加班有沒有關係，

不過工作時間拉長了是確定的。（笑）

後來講電話的次數減少了，

又回到文字詮釋的世界，

不知道這樣算不算好事，

好像遠了些，比起之前有時差的距離更遙遠，

踏著同一塊土地 ，卻增添距離感是怎樣一回事？

有的時候我會想，

待在這裡的優點是甚麼？

大概有點像不用繳學費的念碩士吧～

要學的好多，天天都有實驗跟工作進度要跟，

身邊同事幾乎都是同年齡層的，

大家都一樣青春尚存，

抱怨一樣的事，揮霍一樣的事物，

有著一樣的熱情，跟一樣的豬頭豬腦。

真要說甚麼就是有用不完的拭鏡紙永保鏡片乾淨，

還有奇怪的geek笑話，不在實驗室無法理解的那種。

喔！還可以遠離人群。

then, I found out that the old me came back,

I am not certain of it was good or bad,

sometimes, I will think about the horrible past I had been through

 when I did my experiment in blank,

I still dun no what to do now,

there is no excuse for the way I was,

just sometimes, I will think of you, and it all came with heartbreaking sound 'cracked',

then I just wanted to forget you as you wrote me in the very last letter.

"life is life, kind is kind", people don't change,

I realize it recently, 

because I started to eat the same food at the same restaurant,

drink the same beverage, do the same sports on weekend,

everything is well ranged,

I keep myself in a comfort situation, and the worst of all is I don't want to change it,

I'm too afraid to changing the ME NOW, including the distance between P and me.

Like the talk between M and me, I only mentioned the wonderful part without any moved,

even M could not understand the status I hold, and she said that if it was her, she must take off first,

because she can not stand on it. 

So do I, I said.

But I did not behave the way I said.

I still keep the thing going.

Using alcohol numbs myself is another way help me ignore the reality,

even just one sec, let me forget whom I am and what I desire would make me feel better and free.

it's raining outside right now,

I haven't take a shower,

I want to talk to her,

I am having a can of beer,

I am sloppy,

I moan.

When would I be sober?

just another Sat mumbling...